Book review “Ask me his name” by Elle Wright (trigger warning: focus on child loss)...
The book, written from the perspective of Teddy's mother, tells the story of her perfect baby boy, Teddy, who dies shortly after birth. The aftermath of his loss makes for a difficult and painful read at times, yet I could not put it down and is why I have decided to write this review! It is a very honest story of raw emotion and explicitly explains the reality of such a huge loss. It looks at how others react to the loss, the daft things people say because often losing a baby is not something we generally talk about. It examines the journey back to “normal” (if there is such a thing?). Most importantly it is a story of hope. It is the first book that I have read on this topic that is so truthful and challenges the way people avoid the issue of baby loss or try to minimise it in some way. It is an important book as it does give the reader some insight into the series of emotions that one can experience in this grief. The author has also included some strategies that she found helpful in coping with grief including yoga, reflexology and connecting with other women with similar experiences. The impact Teddy had on other family members and friends is also acknowledged and gives a unique insight into how such a tiny person can have a real effect on the lives of others even if they are only here for a very short time. I would recommend it but be warned that you should be prepared for an emotional roller coaster of heartbreak and hope. Tissues to the ready!
A portion of the proceeds from the sale of the book go to Tommy’s charity. If you have experienced loss you may find the following contacts useful.
Wright, E (2018). Ask me his name. Lagom, London.